two
On spooky houses, study time, and running out of time
tl;dr:
Lots of spooky houses.
I’ve restyled the letter a little, started logging my creative intake, and enrolled onto a short story course (kind of).
& I ran out of time this week: a wonderful thing.
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that
Here are three things from the past week I thought were worth sharing.
1. Houses of horror
Shirley Jackson’s story of Hill House was one of the first stories to show me that inanimate things & places could scare the living hell out of me without much character assistance. I’ve not re-read the book in a while, with its greater focus on the haunted minds of people, but I started rewatching the my-blood-has-turned-to-ice series on Netflix. I’ll follow with the book (we’re rapidly approaching Halloween, after all), their second series on Bly Manor (based on The Turn of the Screw by Henry James, which I remember thinking was rubbish but the series gets the nod from critics), and report back on what makes horror-houses tick.
(I got my partner interested, too. She managed one full episode before claiming bad dreams would allow her no more.)
With her critical narration as support (‘well, you deserved to die there, really’), I’ve also started a video game series that, as a child & teen, did nothing for me: the 1996 survival horror video game, Resident Evil. Though all-out horror isn’t something I intend to explore writing myself, I’m keeping an eye out for any bits I like, then perhaps give my own spooky-house short story a go. So far, I’ve spotted: many different loading-screen doors, stepping through one to be immediately met by the undead, diary entries littered throughout the mansion, and grainy, blurred vision. But: not much story other than that, just a spooky puzzle game.
2. ‘He died for a long time.’
Liquidators were those who were called to the glowing wreckage of the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster. The final, devastating account from Voices from Chernobyl’s (Alexievich) oral history is relayed by the wife of one. As well as all sorts of other questions (some below), this phrase caught me: rather than dying for a long time, ‘died’ suggests he’d gone for quite some time, but his body remained animate: extended death, like a coma or living with dementia. It made me consider what the different ‘phases’ of death are.
3. Podcast catch-up
Much like having too many TBRs on the shelves, I’ve loved audiobooks recently and, so, can neglect the podcasts & papers I subscribe to.
& anything else: i) Qs I had about Voices from Chernobyl: why were different translators used for the two English copies of the book? is there an account anywhere of Alexievich’s interview approach? did each person have the same Q to start with, or was each unique & planned?
this
Here are three of my own creative things from the past week.
1 — Study
While serious about wanting a change in my career, even if only my spare time, I can’t afford a ‘proper’ course just yet, and I need to catch up on literary studies before I can start thinking about what I’d like to specialise in, I opted for George Saunders’ course-in-a-book and, working from a cafe in Bath for the day, spent my lunch picking up a bunch of Russian short stories from Toppings. (All this ‘coffee money’ will go towards a course one day, by the way, if you happen to have any spare pennies & pounds!)
2 — Log
I’ve an itch to scratch when watching films & reading books: I can’t stand the nonsensical Insta-aim of read one hundred books a year (the shallowness of thought, the wasted hours to grow a tally, the endless opportunities to learn a little / lot about oneself, others: gone), but I want to track what I’m reading & watching (AMSAP: as many stories as possible) & what I thought. I want to do it in a way that benefits me.
So, I’ve set up a couple of things: a planner and a log.
3 — Polish
I’ve made a few changes to the letter — mostly just visuals: editing bullets into more digestible bites, I don’t think I can maintain a brain dump header image as I often just write straight to here, so you’ll get a fave photo of the week. As I mention below, this letter was a bit rushed, so I’m considering what’s manageable and what time I should put aside.
& anything else: I’ve updated my CV, LinkedIn, and website - I’m off to find a permanent job.
&
'Be regular and orderly in your life like a bourgeois, so that you may be violent and original in your work.'
I ran out of time this week.
Last Sunday, I planned how the week would go. I blocked out the important bits, added notes for all else; I made it to Thursday before plans crumbled — but I did more of what I enjoy, worried less about what needed doing (as I’d marked the time out already), and made time for things I wouldn’t ordinarily have done: went for a run, visited mum, squeezed in some writing time for this letter. (Though, apologies: this one’s rushed.)
I’m attending group therapy sessions at the moment. There are ten of us plus a couple of practitioners on the screen — only myself and a couple of others have their camera on and get involved, so I’m not sure how much it’s helping. Similar to what I said in letter zero, I recently spent some time thinking about all the plates we need to spin and, by coincidence, the topic of values (the directions you point yourself in) and goals (the bits you tick-off along the way) came up in the session. Deciding this is how I want to be for each area helped.
I’m visiting mum today, seeing her new(ish) house with her new(ish) partner for the first time, and eating a massive roast dinner. One of the areas on my list is family & friends, something I’ve neglected for reasons I don’t regret for a while. I’d like to build it back up. I’ve grown up being told I overthink things. In a lot of ways, it’s true, but it means I’ve looked at myself and decided to be better in this, so I’m OK with that.
Whoever you are, I hope you’re happy & well, and thank you for reading.
Daniel
(P.S. I’ll share photos of my three-year-old forest cat, Boudica, soon — for now, here’s my partner playing with her family friends’ new puppies.)
